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Spiderman VS. Batman- The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid

Spiderman VS. Batman- The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid

PinExt Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid

What do you think would happen if billionaire Bruce Wayne made an inappropriate gesture towards Mary Jane? What if Peter Parker is caught snapping an embarrassing photo of Bruce in his Superman pajamas? Let’s say a fight breaks out between the two and you want to place a bet on the victor. Who would you choose? Would it be “The Beefcake” Bruce Wayne or the “Lean and Mean” Peter Parker.  Alright Geeks, here is Spiderman vs. Batman….light sabers unite!

Batman VS Spiderman2 300x187 Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid

Batman V Spiderman1 197x300 Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid                                                                                                                                                                        

                                    (I want this article to be humorous, nerdy, and fun)                                                    

Batman Is A Brute

Taking a look at Batman, we can see that he is taller and bulkier than Spiderman. You don’t want to be on the opposite end of his brute punches and kicks. He is also able to withstand more punishment from his fighting due to his muscle size and thick body armor. He wields some pretty nifty gadgets that allow him to glide through the air or grapple the tops of high rise building. Batman would most likely win a “Strong Man” competition and even school the American Gladiators, but would have a hard time winning the “Ninja Warrior.” Overall, He looks pretty intimidating with his bulky muscles, black mask, and cape. His size and bulk doesn’t help him with agility and endurance, but he does get to drive a pretty sweet car.

Spiderman Is The Agile Athlete

Spiderman is lightning quick, flexible, and super agile. His fighting ability is enhanced by his extreme athleticism and balance. He is able to dodge weapons and attacks very effectively which can cause his opponent to run out of juice. Since endurance is a strong attribute of Spiderman, long heated battles will always be in his favor. Spiderman also has great advantages with his web slinging abilities. Firing his sticky webs from any angle can help him momentarily disable his opponent while maneuvering around the sides of buildings.

So Who Would Come Out On Top

Batman’s excessive size would slow him down and hurt him in long drawn out battles. He would do very well in a pure fist fight. A few landed punches, kicks, body slams, is all it would take and good night Suzy! Spiderman’s only chance of winning is to utilize his “spidey sense.” If he can draw upon his amazing athletic abilities and wear down Batman, the floodgates would be open to easy body blows.

 0 Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid 

(Abed Batman is my favorite character. I couldn’t stop laughing)

Functional Strength VS Raw Size

We have established that Spiderman has way more functional strength than Batman. He can utilize his body size in more athletic and meaningful ways outside the fighting world and into everyday life. Batman would most likely gain a lot of respect in the bodybuilding community but Spiderman’s body type would gain more interest with the ladies. 

 0 Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid

(A modern day Spiderman) 

If I Had The Choice,Who Would I Be The Spiderman Vs. Batman Dilemma?

Let’s first think about my own fitness goals.  I would much rather be lean and ripped with a lot of functional ability. It is also important to me that I am able to fit into a nice suit and even jeans. This would be very difficult if I had a bodybuilder body. You would think that it would be an obvious choice to be Spiderman, but……I would pick Batman! Let’s be honest, they aren’t superhero’s all the time. Let’s take a look at Bruce Wayne. When he is not Batman, he is a multi-billionaire! He is a rich, handsome, and a famous guy who can literally buy anything and vacation wherever he wants.  Think about Spiderman as Peter Parker, or Superman as Clark Kent. Outside of being a superhero, they are the biggest nerds that work regular, boring, jobs. How much fun is in that?? 

What I Would Fix About Batman

Since I would pick Batman, I would focus on losing the excess muscle mass while increasing muscle density. Slimming down while increasing strength will give me a more of the lean and mean body like Spiderman.  I’ll have the best of both worlds. Spiderman’s physique and ability with Bruce Wayne’s paycheck, sounds great to me!

For Those Who Are Giving Fitness A Much Needed Face Lift

Since beginning this site I have been introduced to some great fitness bloggers. They have actively gone against the grain and are helping people reconsider why exactly they work out. By not catering to the “meat head” mentality, they have opened the doors for people to achieve a much better looking body. It’s only a matter of time for the fitness industry to catch up and realize that what is being taught is extremely ineffective and outdated. This is especially true within women’s fitness. There is way too much exercise garbage that is thrown at women that it makes your head spin.

PinExt Spiderman VS. Batman  The Dark Knight Battles The Web Slinging Arachnid


  1. Man, you hit a soft spot here. My weakness for my comic book heroes!
    Both Batman and Spiderman are athletic in their own way. Spiderman has the skills of a gymnast and has the body of either a diver or gymnast which allows him to jump and do acrobatics to avoid danger.

    Batman has more mass on him kind of like an MMA fighter or a warrior from the movie 300. He has the body of a decathlete perhaps. Batman isn’t one to mess with as he is well trained in martial arts.

    From a perspective of aesthetics I would agree with you, I would prefer looking like Spiderman but with slightly more mass.

    If I look at it from a fighting angle, then I would want Batman’s skills after all he had to train for many years to achieve his level of fighting while Spiderman was “lucky” to get bit by a radioactive spider one day to wake up with his body and acrobatic abilities.


  2. The Underwear Body says:

    Hey great article, as a boy I played this one out in my head a few times for sure!

    I’m definitely in camp of preferring Spidey’s lean and toned look, and so is everyone else I know who doesn’t follow the Mr Olympia. But you’ve got a good point about Bruce Wayne’s money.

    I guess the trick for us regular folks is to get the best of both worlds, a body worth having, and a life worth living.


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